2001-09-10 - 2:37 a.m. - the messages you share between sleep and dreams
tonight i left my windows opened and the rain came into my apartment and i get the feeling that maybe this is one of those bad omens telling me that all my hopes will soon be dashed and maybe the shade beneath a tree isn't all its cracked up to be and maybe that isn't the only shade casting shadows on my skin.im going to sleep with my windows open tonight so the cool breeze can rock me to sleep. ive been relying on air conditioning for far too long. kind of like that otis redding song "ive been loving you too long" but completely different. all they really have in common is the phrase 'too long.' ive been in this place too long. ive been lonely for too long. ive been smoking for too long. ive been sober for too long. ive been reading for too long. ive been dreaming for too long. ive been waiting for too long. ive been wishing for too long.
i digress into that otis redding song because i just put it on a mixtape and, really, i have no one to give the mixtape to. im just making it because im bored and alone and it tricks me into thinking that im going to give it to someone. i made two tapes this weekend already for no one. started a tape actually for someone that i will have to put in the mail. and now im just making one for no one. how odd and sad and random.
and outside there are sirens singing there songs of warning and emergency. similar to the songs angels sing but more frightening. everytime the world begins to collapse around me and the ground cracks begging to swallow me i hear angel's singing through my stereo and thats how i know im going to be okay. its when you hear sirens that you know yr fucked.
call me.
write me a letter.
sing me a song.
communicate without talking.
touch me.
dance with me.
trust me.
thats all anyone can ever really ask of anyone isn't it?
xoxo
listen to: the album where the cover is just his head and his hair is big and poofy and the picture is a little bit out of focus and it looks like hes wearing a scarf and maybe there is some form of rain or snow or something around him and he looks very stoic and very alone.
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