2001-07-24 - 12:54 a.m. - a withdrawal from the nicotine bank
i can't write tonight.i am quitting smoking.
i need someone to hold my hand and my head through this. it really fucking hurts.
we went to the old wall, jon and kristin and I, where we all smoked our first cigarettes so that we could smoke our very last cigarettes and have it be some sort of ritual where we could feel our careers as smokers (translation: income for the corrupt nicotine industry) had come full circle and could thus, end peacefully. lets not trace over pre-drawn circles three years in the making.
tonight i am a ghost.
i can't read.
i can't breathe.
outside my door there are angry fucking kids telling me im wrong and telling me i have betrayed them.
let's watch reruns of the gulf war on television, i miss the apparition of green buildings imploding and turning to dust.
i miss you too.
xoxo
listen to: David Bowie "Hunky Dory," Lovesick, Saturday Looks Good To Me, Aloha, Ten Dollar Typewriter, Shellac, Cursive.
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