2002-12-14 - 3:44 p.m. - time = this
how do you feel about the weight of two feet? lighter than smiles or heavier than sleep? and what kind of blood is running through your veins? A? B? O? Have you ever known a series of questions you didn't know the answers to? Like when we were driving in my car so many weeks ago and you were asking me about lipstick or eyeliner, physical or emotional, window or door, and how i really didn't know anything because i could see the merits of both sides and i have learned how to scour the beauty out of whatever situation I am in. because there is always, always, always beauty. I promise you that. TS Eliot wrote in that really long and famous poem "I will show you fear in a handful of dust." And thats his eyes' fucking fault because I see beauty and longing in the same grains, in the same fist in the same scraping of sediment against skin. I will show you peace if you would just let the wind carry you away a little bit. and back to questions without answers. i wonder if it is about time to make this world mine. to stop having to make beauty and instead walk into it. why should i slip into spaces where i can hardly breathe, let alone dream, and scrape up the beauty of a million exploded things to construct meaning and beauty. it is time to begin opening locked doors with my elbows and kness. it is time to stop letting myself be put in places and begin building places for myself.its all about tomorrow, ladies and gentleman. its all about breathing and dreaming and kissing and screaming and fighting and fucking and hugging and hand holding.
the time is now.
xoxo
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