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2002-11-28 - 7:40 p.m. - a thanksgiving prayer

David Eggers wrote a book entitled "You Shall Know our Velocity." In this book, one of the characters related a story about a tribe of people somewhere in south america who wished to learn to fly. the tribe set up all of their customs around someday learning to fly. this tribe would jump off of cliffs and flap their arms in hopes they could fly. so this tribe also had this belief that their soul was the accumulation of all of their ancestors and that this soul was attached to them like a weight. they carried with them always the experiences of those that came before them. and somebody figured out that this is why they could not fly. so they kept trying and finally ended up so that they all awlked around very quickly in tiny jumps, almost as if they were rabbits, always trying to get up off the ground. and so what this all results in is one day some aggressors were attacking this tribe and the tribe knew they could not win so they ran. they did the crazy jump run away from their home leaving only a message that when translated said "You Shall Know our Velocity."

And tonight at thanksgiving diner i kept thinking about this and how according to this story, in our lives, history is dead. and with the death of history is the death of the soul and ultimately the death of god. but i know this to be true: there is a god and he weeps always for us.

and i know a man whose heart breaks a dozen times daily and sometimes people stop to help him pick up the pieces and none of those people were sitting with me tonight at dinner. if you didn't guess that man is me.

and so im waiting for the phone to ring or something happen. im working on two projects right now and waiting for a right feeling to warm be back up.

xoxo

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