2001-09-16 - 3:54 a.m. - damn im sloppy with sentimentality.
what a beautiful fucking night. we all sang songs and watched movies and walked to the gas station and then to icecream. all beneath the sool blanket of autumn. ive been sleeping with my windows open and the air outside my window feels nice as it kisses me to sleep. as it sings songs of truth and beauty, softer than whispers tickling my ear. and all my friends are so fucking beautiful it hurts. and i mean that. tonight was matt and emily and kristin and jon with a few guest appearances by some friendly aqcuaintances. tonight was also movies and all that other stuff, but more than anything it was those four people. and even with all the ugliness that scares the shit out of me now my friends are responsible for some of the most intense and sublime beauty i have encountered in my small but (as some point out) long (im only 22, sheesh) life.keep your chin up, i hope in the last couple days, in the few brief and scattered conversations we've had about what your heart tells you that you feel more comfortable in sharing and being honest. i know how scary it can be to talk about something like that and i hope you know that it is nothing to be ashamed of.
and goddam, you, i have never ever, ever been able to talk to anyone about t.s. elliot or william blake or anything else like that before.
you both make me laugh and smile and think.
and you i miss. i havent heard from you all week and i hope your doing well, perhaps ill see you in the not too distant future.
and to everyone in dayton and england(there are two of you there now, and tennessee, and indiana, and cleveland, and michigan, and columbus, and everywhere else that i know where you are, i miss you all too.
what the fuck has gotten into me? i sound like an overly sentimental fool. and really, that doesn't bother me one bit.
'it's the most real thing you've ever seen'
xoxo
listen to: ted leo. the faint. bruce springsteen (that fuckin amazing songs with the line: "and the poets down here don't write nothing at all they just stand back and let it all be. and in the still of the night, they reach for their moment and try to make an honest stand" i swear that line will be the preface to the next long poem i write).
�
�
