2001-09-11 - 8:38 p.m. - resolution
appreciate beauty.dance.
sing songs.
talk to the people you love.
smoke cigarettes.
get drunk.
write.
read.
love.
sigh.
cry.
vomit.
everything is finally starting to crystalize and make sense in a sort of tragic and frightening way. today was the ugliest day i in my 22 years of days. and now everything makes sense. everything.
this isn't about blame. this isn't about fear. this is about love and compassion. beause really, when everything is gone it is the ghosts of those abstract ideas that will remain haunting the nothingness.
appreciate everything.
and i know that this isn't over and there is going to be more violence in resolving this problem. and i just have to accept that.
maybe some good can come of this.
everyone, just keep holding hearts in hand. thats the only way you won't ever miss a beat. and that is beautiful.
won't you hold my hand
and don't be scared, cuz we don't stand
a fuckin chance.
but we do and we're tough. and i am amazed by all i ahve written today. im sure maybe a psychologist could go through and identify all the different stages of grief and shock and horror.
and now im exhausted. and now my heart is bleeding(but still beating). and now im going to start breathing regularly again.
never stop dreaming. your dreams define you. like i talked about last night all the hopes and wishes and dreams that boil up inside my skin. its all there for all of us and it isn't going anywhere except for straight up.
xoxo
listen to: the who "won't get fooled again"
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