2001-09-01 - 1:31 a.m. - a lot of random drivel.
have you ever had band really, really help you overcome yr fears and social inhabitions? tonight i realized that Saturday Looks Good To Me is slowly teaching me how to dance in publice, like with other people around. insane. never thought id see the day. none of that sexual chocolate bullshit though. good wholesome body moving with the music kind of dancing.and lately i have had really good luck. in the last two days i have met two people whom have been little more than online diarys and emails to me. i was extremely lucky in that one is a very itneresting and intelligent perosn who i enjoy hanging out with and the other is a very sweet and interesting (albeit shy, of course so am i) person who radiates joy. so some nice surprises these people in person were indeed(try to figure that sentence out).
i feel better today. still uncertain but the anger has desolved into a sort of insecure fear that is still freaking me out and making me somewhat anxious but today did me worlds of good. fred gave me a cd-r of the radio show flashpapr played on last night and it is really,very beautiful. i listened to it on the way home and it is so nice.
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autumn just isnt the same without you
too many empty wishes to see through
just promise me that you'll call when you get home.
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dammit i need a real band.
and hey julia if you read this i got you an SLGTM t-shirt. white with a red design (its all they had). and also all my non-vinyl purchaising friends will be glad to know that according to members of the band, the first SLGTM record will be made into a CD in the near future. so now you can all quit bugging me to tape it for you (even though i think ive already taped it for everyone and their brothers and sisters and their brothers and sisters friends) but its okay, that record, something about really touches alot of people, not a single person who i've played it for has not been moved by it. except brendan but thats just because it wasn't ska.
anyway the show tonight was amazing i danced and sang along. old friends and new were wonderful to be with. and now if i can just deal with this school thing.
and i am so excited to see you this weekend. please take the gun from my hand and replace it with sugar like only you know how to do.
xoxo
listen to: saturday looks good to me, flashpapr, the white stripes, tindersticks, belle and sebastian, captain beefheart.
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