2001-08-29 - 6:42 p.m. - broken hearts and ethnicity
sometimes my heart breaks. sometimes its for myself and sometimes its for the people i love. but it breaks, and it breaks so fucking hard that all i want to do is listen to or watch or read the most tragic and beautiful and heartbreaking record or film or poem. and sometimes it really fucking hurts because nothing can really compliment (subdue?) the cracking of glass inside my rib cage. and every record on my shelf looks as unsympathetic as Limp Bizkit. and everything outside my window (asphalt.glass.steel.) is the only thing i can relate to.last night i finally found that perfect fucking record that is perfect straight through and it makes everything feel so much better. two records actually: 1. TIndersticks - Can Our Love... and 2. Otis Redding - Otis Blue. these records speak louder than bombs and create some strange sort of complex melody when juxtaposed over the sound of hearts breaking.
i know nobody really cares about this. just something i kind of wanted to share.
had one class today all ablout ethnicity and creative writing. i think it really has the potential to be an amazing and beautiful and growth inducing class. i always worry about classes like this though. i realize that in order to fix the present and the future that one must study the past. but there is a fine line between using the past to help make the present right and just dwelling on it angrily. sometimes i just think we should focus more on now. because really there is so much fucking beauty around us. perhaps we just need to learn how to appreciate it.
im going to go smoke a cigarette now. it makes my lungs feel loved.
xoxo
listen to: tindersticks, otis redding.
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