2001-08-07 - 4:41 a.m. - okay so just to warn you tonight i watched "pump up the volume" and so im pretty hyped up and angry but happy that im feeling things again because ive been pretty dried up this summer.

and tonight we watched pump up the volum with christian slater and when i was 14 or whatever when that movie came out it was cool. but watching it now i never knew just how important a film that was. see it was made, i dunno in the early nineties maybe? and everyone is real repressed and people treat each other like shit and nobody can really communicate or just be themselves and then this shy insecure kid starts a pirate radio show and blows the motherfucking hinges off of the doors that have locked people up for so long. and i thought this odd isolation that surrounds everthing currently was new, like it is a phase that will go away with time but watching this movie i realized that its been around for a long fucking time and its not going anywhere because nobody fucking cares.

don't let yourselves become objects. everyone has been talking about the objectification of women for a long time but what about the objectification of people. how about when dying people can't get motherfucking medical care because it costs too much money for their insurance to pay.

im sure we've all realized by now that every piece of popular entertainment we experience is made for the sole purpose of target-marketing-cross-sectioning-niche-identifying every possible clique in every single culture and doing everything possible to sellsellsell fucking sell. and you know what? for some strange fucking reason, we buy.

we are taught from the day we are born what we need to be in order to be normal. fuck normal. fuck being comfortable. make yourself physically uncomfortable and then make those around you scream for mercy for your discomfort.

when was the last time you believed the words you said?

when was the last time you felt electricity in your veins and knew that today was your day, this week was your week, this month your month, and this year your goddam year. everyday moment of everyday is yours, nobody elses and you can do anything with all those moments you want.

don't play by the fucking rules. rules are for people without faith.

when was the last time you smoked a cigarette?

when was the last time you did something you knew would harm only yourself but you fucking did it anyway and you fucking loved every minute of it?

when was the last time you jerked off?

when was the last time you remembered your dream?

when was the last time you felt like you could change the world?

when was the last time you felt beautiful?

when was the last time you felt like you were the perfect weight?

when was the last time you walked down a street or drove down an interstate in your car and you could only see beauty around you and know that you weren't being marketed to and tricked into believing that you don't eat enough mcdonalds or your girlfriends too fat or a mountain dew would be good right now?

when was the last time you believed?

and let me say this: i am fucking tired of people who say that kids from wealthy suburban settings don't have any right to complain. ya know what? we grew up in emotinal fucking voids where there was no goddam way we could ever really love or be angry or break rules or change anything, especially our lives. why should telling someone "i love you" be such a difficult and fucking political thing to do. if you feel like you love somebody then you fucking tell them because you at least love them for that moment and if you are honest with yourself and know the difference between lust and love then you do fucking love that person. why wait until you've been in a relationship for six months before saying. why tell the other person its too soon to say it once they do. if its too soon to say it than there shouldn't be a goddam relationship. and like at my high school my sophomore year, like a bazillio years ago the administrators banned maryiln manson t-shirts. i say wear a fucking marilyn manson t-shirt to school every goddam day. don't let anybody tell you what to wear or what to believe. wear spaghetti strap tank tops every day to school and shorts that your finger tips hang down past. wear dog collars and shave the word 'fuck' into your hair. go and participate in class, you'll actually fucking learn something. it took me a year and a half of college before i found that out. don't be ashamed of anything you do ever because every choice you have ever made is yours and yours alone and you made those decisions for a reason.

find a voice.

say everything you have to say.

i know its in all of you.

i know you all are just burning with fear and anger and desire but you dont think your allowed to talk about it.

don't talk about the weather.

don't talk about the hometown team.

don't talk about last nights episode of freinds.

tell us what is on yer mind.

never censor yourself. never be afraid of anything you are feeling.

throw a fucking wrench into the way that we live.

tear off your plastic skin and go running in the sun. and run faster than you have ever run before.

we can only learn to breathe by breathing.

xoxo.

listen to: the lightning bolt, lovesick, the firebird band, aloha, saturday looks good to me.

�

previous - next

�