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2001-07-13 - 1:58 p.m. - for andrew

there is a line between then and now and another forward to next. think about the way we breathe. the way we hang on to the frayed stitching of old baseball hats and decomposing tennis shoes. there are no answers in the past. only to specific questions. where is she now? how'd he end up there? why am i here now? and maybe, also, there are no answers in the future either. the answers are now. on the edge of where you were and where you are going. and where you are going is anywhere.

start a record label with me. we can call it anything and put out the music that drives our souls to sleep on nights when sleep is an implausibility. and the music that resonates so deep within our teeth that we have no other option than to deconstruct the opposition of smiles and frowns and just be.

I'll see you on the other side of the street. where the sidewalk burns our naked feet. painting pictures that we never knew we could paint. trading sentences with long forgotten saints. and you are alive tonight, don't fall apart in puzzle pieces.

and was it only three years ago now when i was straight edge and you would drag me to denny's to watch you smoke. and me and you and tony were at the activity center in the dugout talking about the future when the police officer came and made us leave. and now i'm gone. we're all gone. and we're not kids anymore. but we're almost there. almost to the other side of this narrow alleyway that we've all been slowly crawling through on hands and knees. and what's on the other side. a table and chairs. a pot of coffee. jobs and wives. a deck of cards. saturday night movies at six in the afternoon. kids. little league. marching band(could either of us ever subject our kids tot hat torment though?). the pranks they play that makes our friend's car smell like fish. and on and on and on.

think about it my friend. and do whatever you have to do even it is means moving.

that's all.

xoxo

listen to: the sound of your alarm clock invading your dreams and never ending in the morning.

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