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2001-06-19 - 1:27 a.m. - playtime is over

this is the beginning of the end of your heartache.

my neighbor is cheating on his girlfriend right now. we prank called him, laughing quietly in the background but there was something more like pain as our motivation. something larger than jokes. just imagining a girl finding out her boyfriend is fucking around with another girl is enough to break my heart into pieces and then again into dust. i need to pay attention and remember my past. the key to now is in the past. fuck the naysayers who tell us not to hold on too dearly to that which has gone before. we are nothing but ghosts. born and reborn accumulating into the people we are now like snow falling on snow falling on snow. each new blanket covers the blemishes, the dog piss, the blood the broken hearts, of the last.

i can't live at home in this world anymore.

someday my blues will cover the earth (just like the aforementioned snow).

his name is asleep.

his name is alive is an amazing band. listen to them. they're going all R&B which is wierd considering their past but wow its good R&B...

its time for bed.

think about what i said.

remember everything.

remember that phrase you muttered under your breath.

hog butcher, soul mate.

get out of my room.

stop pumping my blood. that blood is mine. you can't touch it anymore.

mother says i can't play with you anymore.

get out.

xoxo

listen to: Lovesick, His Name is Alive, Stephen Malkmus, Saturday Looks Good To Me, The White Stripes.

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